One big takeaway from the Jim Ryun Running Camp is always Jim’s talk on goal setting. Many of us are able to set goals and create a plan to achieve them, but we may face problems sticking with those plans. I have struggled the last few years to achieve the goals I set. Often feeling stuck in self-inflicted cycles. I would be aware of what needed to change but seemingly unable to follow through. Paul words the situation well in Romans,
"I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do."
Romans 7:15
Many of us are our own worst enemies when it comes to achieving goals. I personally got addicted to my phone as a coping mechanism for a frustrating job and stressful relationship. I would waste time and miss out on sleep scrolling through social media every day. I would miss workouts, time with friends and time with God.
Step 1 towards overcoming this self sabotage is to identify and admit that it is a problem. Often this is fairly obvious. Once I was able to identify that I was using my phone as a coping mechanism, I started attempting to change that behavior. It is critical not to be complacent after identifying the problem. Complacency can happen in one of three ways. #1 Blame: blaming other things for your problem. I tended to say my classes weren’t interesting or my job was boring to justify constantly going to my phone. #2 Denial: I would deny that my phone was even an issue thinking that I would stop using it as much once I started school or when I had more responsibilities. #3 Guilt trapped: after trying and failing to change, people can come to believe it is impossible to change, maybe even taking on the flaw as a title. It is necessary to recognize that we all have the capacity to change, and that we are responsible for pursuing that painful change. As Paul puts it,
“ . . . let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. . . “
Hebrews 12:1
Once you have identified a stumbling block, you must take the problem seriously. Oftentimes, whatever needs to be removed has some good attributes that make it hard to give up.
Step 2 is to make a plan for change. My first plans were usually just a mental scolding that tomorrow I needed to focus more. That never worked for me. Here is a helpful guideline for changing bad habits.
"We know that a habit cannot be eradicated—it must, instead, be replaced. And we know that habits are most malleable when the Golden Rule of habit change is applied: If we keep the same cue and the same reward, a new routine can be inserted. But that’s not enough. For a habit to stay changed, people must believe change is possible. And most often, that belief only emerges with the help of a group."
-Charles Duhigg, The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business
There are a lot of things at play here but my most successful plans involved complete removal of the tempting situation. I completely deleted social media from my phone and changed the settings so I couldn’t download apps. When I felt tempted to pick up my phone, I would do push ups and at night I would read and journal instead. Do not underestimate the benefit of fellowship, like Duhigg said, the help of a group is often needed. I would point out here that I have found wisdom in meeting with a small group of fellow male believers. This way I make myself accountable to those who share the same love for the Lord in desiring to please our Father God.
Step 3 is perseverance. Change doesn’t come all at once. God is patient and loving. He offers forgiveness, strength and truth to those who ask for it. The following verses I find encouragement from when I am struggling to find motivation are the following:
"Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—His good, pleasing and perfect will."
Romans 12:1-2
"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us."
Hebrews 12:1-3
May you find courage and strength to pursue God’s purpose for your life!
