I’ve been thinking about toil lately. I’m two months into my first year of teaching and to be honest a lot of days have just felt too hard. I notice I often live for the weekend when I can catch a break from the behavior struggles of my students, daily discouragement and never-ending amount of work. But then Sunday night rolls around. Dread and fear creep into my joy and contentment because the clock is ticking: I’m about to enter another exhausting week of teaching.
It’s healthy emotionally to acknowledge something is tough. But I hate that something I’ve been excited for and equipped by God for has become something I dread and fear at times. I’ve been asking myself, "What would life be like if everything was easy?" If my students mastered the concept immediately and were always respectful, docile and motivated to learn, would I ever be challenged, refined and purified?
My answer? I think I’d be very comfortable and forget my need for the Lord because I wouldn’t think I needed His help. So, I’m learning to acknowledge the toil and pain, welcoming Jesus into it with me. He’s showing me this phase in my life is fostering moments of pressing into Him. Relying on Him. Praying for others who also feel overwhelmed and drained.
In Lecrae’s book I Am Restored, he writes, “Wherever you are, He [God] is there, and He cares even more about our well-being than we do. Ultimately, in some grander way, we will be better and the narrative will be for our good. Circumstances don’t disturb me now like they did before, because my core foundation can’t be shaken.”
May we choose to believe He really does love us. May we ask for His perspective through the struggle. Maybe it’s a defeating race result time and time again despite hours of toil throughout the week. Maybe it’s the realization running no longer brings joy as it once did. Maybe it’s the lie that we can never be satisfied and proud of ourselves until we’re the absolute best athlete on the team, in the district, or in the state. May God lead us to a place where we can also say, like Paul, “But none of these things move me; nor do I count my life dear to myself, so that I may finish my race with joy, and the ministry which I received from the Lord Jesus, to testify to the gospel of the grace of God.” (Acts 20: 24). If you know where you’re headed, it makes the journey a whole lot easier. May we all be headed to Jesus.
